Inferno
by NerdyJibbsOreo
Summary: Jethro feels like a popsicle and Jenny is on fire. Random one shot entailing the woes of a certain stage of life. Established married Jibbs.


_A/N: I love writing small little pieces like this that have funny or fluffy Jibbs moments. It's nice to take a break from the angsty aspects of their relationship sometimes._

 _Inspired by things I have witnessed over the years between my menopausal mother and aunt._

* * *

Jethro Gibbs was sick of being cold. He felt like he had slowly been being tortured for the past few months.

He had always easily gotten cold—it was why he dressed in layers. But now his usual layers were no longer proving to be as useful.

He glanced to his side, noticing that she was distracted by case files, and took the opportunity to turn the AC off. He felt like breathing a sigh of relief when he turned his attention back to the road, the welcome warmth of the sun streaming in through the windows.

His relief only lasted about thirty more seconds.

He rolled his eyes upon hearing the AC turn back on, feeling his neck hairs stand up as the chill air blasted through the car again. It didn't matter that all the vents were pointed away from him. It didn't matter that he was wearing his usual undershirt, polo, suit jacket, and a jacket over all that—it was still too damn cold.

He glared at the road and gripped the steering wheel for a minute before he flung his hand out and turned the AC off again.

He noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, and he flicked his wrist to smack her hand away from the AC control.

" _Leroy Jethro Gibbs_ ," Jenny growled, feeling highly affronted and shooting him a questioning glare. "What the _hell—_ "

"It's too cold, quit turnin' the damn AC on," he protested.

"Excuse me?" She snapped.

"You heard me," he retorted.

"Well, I am not cold, in fact I feel like my body has been transported to the Sixth Circle of Hell," she replied. "I wouldn't even consider myself a heretic," she said as an afterthought as she turned the AC back on.

He grumbled under his breath.

"I suppose your body exists in some eternal Ninth Circle of Hell, oh cold and treacherous one," she stated, smirking to herself.

"What?" He questioned, finding himself in the usual position of being baffled by whatever she was on about. She was always using big words or referencing things he didn't understand, and it drove him crazy sometimes—because he swore she did it to annoy him on purpose.

"Dante's _Inferno_ , the Nine Circles of Hell," she replied, as if she was informing him of something he naturally should already know about.

He shook his head, deciding he didn't care, and reached to turn the AC off again. She smacked his hand away this time.

"Jen," he whined.

"You'll live. _Your_ body isn't forcing you to be unnecessarily hot just because of your age and hormones. You men have the luxury of not only skipping out on periods and childbirth, but also menopause. Consider yourself lucky," she said irritably.

He grumbled under his breath again. He honestly thought her menopause had it in for him just as much as her. She had him put an air conditioner in their room and she would turn it on in the middle of the night sometimes. Despite his layers of comfortable sleep clothes and the bed sheets around him, he would still wake up freezing. During those times, when she was experiencing hot flashes, he couldn't even cuddle up to her for warmth. She'd protest that she was too hot to have another warm body against hers and nudge him away.

And then there were her crazy hormones and irritable attitude.

It reminded him of the two times when she had been pregnant with their kids—and the fact that menopause could be much longer than a pregnancy terrified him.

He had dealt with a lot of women in his lifetime. Yet, despite being married to Jenny for 13 years, he still wasn't sure he understood them one bit.

"Honestly, how can you be cold? It's eighty degrees outside and you have a jacket on, you should be dying to have the AC on," Jenny commented.

"Gonna die if you keep forcin' me to be a popsicle," he complained.

She laughed, sounding highly amused.

"You're gonna freeze the kids to death too," he added.

"They haven't even noticed the house has been colder, you're the only one who has been whining," she replied. "I suppose you could start doubling up on your under and polo shirts, you certainly have enough of them," she said, giving him a wide smirk.

He ignored her comment and focused on parking in the NCIS parking garage. When he turned the engine off she spoke up again.

"I suppose you could take a break from boats and build your own house instead," she teased.

"Could just get another divorce, fourth time's a charm," he deadpanned.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You could, but good luck finding another woman to put up with you. You're an old man now, Jethro. You're no longer a younger and hotter looking silver fox anymore, you're a full fledged 61 year old relic. At your age, you're lucky to be with someone as young as me," she said seriously. She let out a dramatic sigh. "You also have a harder time keeping up with me in the bedroom now, and you'll probably be hobbling around on a cane soon. In fact—"

He covered her mouth with his hand, putting a stop to the wise ass comments. She licked his hand immaturely in response, making him pull his hand away and glare at her.

She smiled sweetly at him.

"If you really want a divorce, I could probably find another man more around my age to settle down with. I'm still young and hot enough," she said flippantly.

"Don't know, Jen, think you might be too hot, not to mention cranky. Poor man'll realize he doesn't want to spend his life as an unappreciated popsicle."

"An 'unappreciated popsicle'?" She repeated, shaking with laughter.

He smiled when he looked at her, always appreciative of the way she looked when she laughed.

"Yeah, 'sides," he said, putting his hand on her thigh, "you're _my_ hot and cranky woman. Not lettin' you escape as easily as you did in Paris twenty years ago." He kissed her cheek.

"Well," she said with a sigh, "guess I'll just have to wait for you to die before I can get another man who can keep up with me. May as well get some use out of your salary before you retire anyway."

He growled and turned to open his door, and she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm just teasing you, Jethro," she said with a laugh.

He glared at her.

"Thank you for dropping the kids off at school with me, and for driving us both into work so that I could get ahead of paperwork. You're a wonderful father and husband, and much as I tease you I really do appreciate everything you do for me," she consoled. She leaned over and grabbed his chin, pulling his face towards hers, kissing his lips tenderly. "I wouldn't have it any other way," she added, giving him another kiss.

"Guess I'm willin' to freeze to death for ya," he said, his lips smirking against hers, giving her another kiss for good measure. "An' I keep up just fine in the bedroom, you're the one who's always had issues pacin' yourself," he said, pulling back and giving her a stern look.

She chuckled.

"Tell you what, when we get home you can prove it to me," she purred, pulling his face back to hers. "The kids are busy tonight with friends, so we'll have the whole house to ourselves."

"Mmm, I like that idea," he murmured against her lips. "Then I guess we better get this work day out of the way."

They got out of the car and walked hand in hand to the elevator.

"Damn," Jenny cursed as the elevator closed, pulling her hand away from his and reaching into her purse.

"What?" He asked, hoping she didn't leave something at home that they had to go back and get.

"I think I'm having another hot flash," she said wearily, pulling a little hand fan out of her purse and waving it around her face.

"Well, let your body know that your hot flashes aren't invited to the party tonight," he responded.

"Oh, sure, I'll do that, because that's exactly how bodies work," she snapped, suddenly irritable again, waving the fan at her face like crazy.

"Works for me," he said smugly, not able to hold back a smirk at how funny her desperate fan waving looked.

"That's funny, because I could have sworn you've been complaining about how much your knees hurt for months now. Have you just been neglecting to let your body know that you don't condone such behavior?" She retorted, glaring at him.

* * *

Ziva David looked over to the elevators when she heard them open, not able to hold back a smile as she watched Jenny and Gibbs get off. Over all these years they hadn't changed as much as one would think—still just as argumentative, teasing, flirty, and madly in love as ever.

She watched as they wrapped up whatever playful argument they were currently having, both smirking at each other and exchanging a lingering kiss before they broke apart. Gibbs watched Jenny walk off, and Ziva shook her head in amusement. Despite years of marriage, he would still blatantly check out Jenny's ass all the time.

"Anyone who turns down the temperature in the bullpen today gets shot," Gibbs announced as he charged to his desk. "I see so much as a fan or an ice cube..." he growled, trailing off menacingly.

"Why, Boss?" McGee questioned, looking up at him.

"It's the only warm sanctuary I have left," Gibbs replied, glaring up in the direction of the Director's office.

* * *

 _Awww, I love married Jibbs._

 _Thank you in advance for any reviews, they always make my heart soar, and they are also super motivating. I really appreciate it. Also, a big thank you to everyone who even took the time to read this little one shot._


End file.
